A “meet-cute” is a situation in a movie where a future romantic couple meets for the first time… and ours happened just before study hall in my sophomore year of high school – who said it can’t happen!! We met and fell in love in high school, dated all through college, and six years later tied the knot on November 24, 2007.
Being married has taught me so many things, and I’m excited to share my top 5 with you today!
#1. Communicate for a change
There is no such thing as over-communicating. Now, I know this one is easy for the men to tune out – you might be thinking to yourself “Well, that’s easy for her to say!” But bare with me - my husband, in fact, is actually the one who taught me this principle.
Here’s the key – you’re communication should always bring forth some sort of change. Don’t talk just to talk (all the time)… Communication should bring you closer, show you something about him or her that you never saw before, or let the other person know you a little bit better. When you communicate effectively with one another, you change. You grow. You become more in sync. You become one.
#2. Tension is good
Fight. Do it. Don’t be afraid of it. Couples usually swing to one side or the other on the pendulum of fighting – they crave it or the run from it. My suggestion is to do neither of those things – my suggestion is to embrace it.
Every time you fight (if you follow my next rule) you will take one step back, and two steps forward in your relationship. When you fight the right way…you’ll see that you always win – because you always draw closer to each other. How do you fight “the right way” you ask? By practicing #3…
#3. Don’t Play Fair
Weird…I know. Growing up you always here “Now…you play fair!” from your parents, coaches, and mentors. But…the opposite is true when it comes to relationships. Now, I can’t take credit for this one – it came straight from a book I read years ago. But… I can take credit for putting it into practice.
Years ago, just after reading this principle in a book, my husband and I decided to put this one right to work. Playing “fair” is giving good things to others as long as they give good things to us. “Not Playing Fair” means doing the right thing even when it doesn’t make sense to us, responding with love, and choosing to treat our spouse well even when we don’t feel like we are being treated that way.
Basically, never repay the bad for the bad. If they are mean…don’t play fair – be nice. If they are in a bad mood…don’t play fair – treat them well. Give back better than you’re given. Whatever the situation, don’t play fair.
#4. Study each other
Never stop learning about your spouse. Their job, friends, environment, etc. are constantly causing them to change, adapt, and absorb. So, that means that they will be growing and changing every single day. When we are dating, we study each other to learn everything we can about the other person. Why would this ever end in marriage?! It shouldn’t J
#5. Love is a choice
It simply is. For better or for worse… When it’s easy and when it’s not… Make the right choice. Choose to love them. Love them in spite of the things they do wrong, and love them because of the things they do right. Love keeps no record of wrongs – but rejoices in the truth. Choose to love.
I wish I could be sitting across the table from you with a fresh cup of coffee, or cocoa (whatever meets your fancy), and hear all the details of your future love story… But since that is escaping us for now, just know that I’m for you! God has blessed me with an amazing story to share, and I’m praying he does the same for you!